


So, He Said "What's The Problem, Baby?"

by tmo



Series: The Princess and The Cyclops [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Comedy, Curses, Inspired by Shrek (Movies), M/M, Sort Of, Soulmates, kind of crack-ish?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-19 06:34:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29622072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tmo/pseuds/tmo
Summary: What's the problem, I don't knowWell, maybe I'm in loveThink about it, every time I think about it, can't stop thinking 'bout itHow much longer will it take to cure this?Just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's loveMakes me want to turn around and face me but I don't know nothing 'bout love(AKA Shrek AU part 2)
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Series: The Princess and The Cyclops [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2130648
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	1. The Cyclops Was Strange

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This is Part 2, you might be lost if you haven't read Part 1 "Somebody One Told Me" since I'm adding a lot of story that isn't from Shrek and really branching out from here on

At the tapping sound at his window, the wizard Orochimaru looked up from his bubbling cauldron. Before he could call out to Kabuto for help, he remembered he’d fired his assistant a month back.

Muttering to himself, he reached his staff over, poked open his window and a sleek, black lizard flew in with its bat-like wings to perch on the desk.

"It's been a long time, Sasuke," Orochimaru hissed as he hunched back over his cauldron, sprinkling in a bit of mermaid scale dust. As a puff of purple smoke filled his laboratory, the wizard asked the miniature dragon, "Well, the spell was broken?"

Orochimaru waved away the smoke and chuckled to himself, "Ah, sorry, forgot about the voicelessness."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and gave the man a frustrated glare. It only served to make him laugh more though.

"Alright, don't tense up too much or you'll combust." Pushing through his things, Orochimaru assured, "Give me a moment and I'll give the signal. Savour these last moments, being a dragon was pretty cool wasn't it?"

Sasuke withered a bit from his tense stance because it had been cool. It had been a decent punishment for all his brother's wrongdoings. It had still been five years stuck in an abandoned castle though so it was exciting to finally get back to his human self.

"Okay, any last words?" Orochimaru joked before getting serious again. His eyes glowed, muttering under his breath and with a swing of his arm, the dragon was no more.

In its place, a boy with dark hair stood in ragged clothing and a blank gaze. 

"There we go." The wizard wiped his hands on his cloak. "Five years of service in exchange for one magical sleep cabbage. Your debt’s been paid."

As Sasuke stood there, Orochimaru turned to look at him in surprise. "Well? Go on. Be free."

Sasuke didn't move, confused about what to do with himself now. 

With a groan, Orochimaru flicked his hand and the front door opened. "Go. Start by telling the King and Queen the good news. Maybe they'll make you a knight or something. Give you some purpose."

When the boy looked at the door and hesitantly walked out, the Grand Wizard sighed in defeat and muttered, “Dragons. Utterly useless at conversation.”

He then remembered how much he needed an assistant and cursed himself for not asking. “Whatever, he’ll be back.”

* * *

"So, when was the last time he told you anything about his home?"

Iruka frowned and looked over at Naruto who was sitting straight on the carriage seat next to him. The fox shrugged back and Iruka struggled to talk about the giant who wasn’t with them. “He… I remember him mentioning his home and the forest it was in, but he didn’t talk about it much.”

“He said he was from the Enchanted Forest,” Naruto provided helpfully but Genma still frowned, chewing on the straw he’d picked up on their journey thoughtfully.

“A cyclops from the Enchanted Forest…”

“Yeah. What about it?” Naruto asked so Genma answered him candidly.

“Well, cyclopes don’t normally reside in forests. They usually live in caves and mountains,” He explained as he leaned back into his seat in thought.

“But, it is the Enchanted Forest.” Iruka crossed his arms and glanced out of their carriage window to where a lone figure was sitting on an outcrop of rocks on the other side of the field. What had happened to his sweet giant? “Maybe something happened to him. It could be why he lives in the forest now.”

“Or it could be the forest itself,” Genma offered to Naruto’s astonishment.

“Like a poison?” Naruto excitedly asked and Genma nodded.

“Maybe.”

Unsatisfied with their findings, Iruka quickly asked, “Lord Shiranui-”

“Please call me Genma, Prince.” The Lord said with a most handsome smile and Iruka couldn’t help but blush a bit.

“Genma. Is there anything you can do to help us? Do you maybe have a map we can use to find our way to Kakashi’s home? It shouldn’t be far from the land you… Acquired,” Iruka asked in his most diplomatic voice as Genma’s lips curled up around his stalk of straw in a smirk.

“Well, if your company would like to join me, I’m actually heading there myself. If you’d like you can ride with me to-”

“Oh! That’s great. We can just follow along then,” Iruka quickly interrupted before ushing Naruto out of the carriage and giving the charming Lord a quick grin. “I’ll go talk get Kakashi. Thank you!”

Finally able to breathe without being analyzed, Iruka muttered to Naruto as they headed through the tall grass to their friend, “Let’s not force anything on him but try and see if you can talk something out of him.”

“Alright, time for Detective Naruto to interrogate.”

“No interrogation. Just talk.”

“Time for Detective Naruto to talk… Persuasively,” Naruto hushed.

Across the tall grass, Kakashi sat upon a tall cluster of rocks as though they were chairs, bent over himself with his head in his hands and his mind deep in thought. Through the haze of the last few days, Kakashi scoured his memories and thoughts of any semblance of the place he had once called home. 

He knew where he was from. The name of the Enchanted Forest was burned into his mind but he couldn’t form anything beyond a name. There were no structures, plants or even colours that came to mind. All he had in his mind was a name related to his home, a home he couldn’t even picture.

Before meeting Naruto, there was nothing. He could barely remember that and it hadn’t been more than a week ago. Why couldn’t he remember anything beyond that? Had he hit his head? Had it been when he was fighting the dragon?

“Kakashi!” Iruka’s call hit him and he glanced up from his trance in relief. 

At least he wasn’t alone. There was a sense that things would be okay if he was with his friends. Naruto trotted up to him and declared, “Noodle man is taking us to the Enchanted Forest! We’ll get there, find your home and then you’ll remember everything.”

Looking to Iruka for confirmation, Kakashi found his prince smiling hopefully and it lightened his spirits. Iruka said so easily, “We can go check out your home and maybe that’ll give us some clues. Maybe that’ll jog your memory.”

“Sure,” Kakashi said as he stood, following Iruka’s smile and crimson cape over to their guides. 

With Iruka and Naruto sitting on the back of the carriage and Kakashi walking briskly behind them, they moved quicker through the common woods than they had days before. Travelling had somehow become more normal to them than not and they got to talking as they moved through the trees about the Enchanted Forest and all the other places Naruto had visited. Surprisingly, Naruto was quite well-travelled and knew a lot about different places near and far.

“The people over in the Wide, Open Desert aren’t too nice at all. They usually just rob you or try to eat you. Most eat you.” 

Iruka chuckled and petted Naruto with his mind filled with many other thoughts, especially thoughts about the giant who was trailing behind the carriage. He hoped that when they got there, Kakashi would begin to remember things and… Well, Iruka didn’t really know what would happen then but he couldn’t get out of his head what had just happened. 

He was free of his curse. He was free to be himself and to not worry about suddenly being in a body that wasn’t his own. It was all that he’d been dreaming of his entire life and he was so damn happy. 

Just being in the sun and not feeling like he was going to jump out of his own skin was the most perfect feeling his body had ever felt. After all these years of hating himself during the day and wondering which he was supposed to be, it was such a reassurance to know that his apprehension had been right. 

With this new sense of confidence, all Iruka really wanted to do now was revel.

Revel in himself and another emotion that he’d only recently come to know in the last few days, something he’d read about in stories and had been told his whole life to look out for. It was the thing that broke his curse and even though it hadn’t been a grand, magical kiss, Iruka didn’t think he’d want it any other way. 

Because it meant that the feelings he had felt as soon as he saw Kakashi were real. 

Oh, man, love was so nerve-wracking. And it was true love too. Was this how other princes and princesses felt? Was it always like a bunch of bees buzzing around in their chest? He’d have to ask Princess Anko if ever she woke up from that slumber she’d been put under a few years ago or Princess Kurenai if she had time between her baby, kingdom and footwear brand. Well, that was if they even wanted to see him. 

After all, they hadn’t seen each other for years but they had been in contact through letters. 

Oh, what would they think of Iruka’s true form? And the man who had broken his curse. Iruka didn’t doubt they would be happy for him… He was just worried about their judgemental stares. Although, he had bigger things to worry about. Things that were very foreboding and filled with dread. 

Dread about the memory of a cyclops who he watched trail behind them like a lost puppy.

Hopefully, when they got to Kakashi’s home, he would start to remember things.

* * *

Sadly, he did not. In fact, he didn’t recognize anything. 

This was his home? The tree they stood at was so giant, so huge that he should have remembered it. It wasn’t every day you saw a door set into a tree that was several hundred metres taller than the surrounding forest, regardless of how magical it was.

Regardless of the creatures who peaked out from the Kakashi-sized wooden door to see who was approaching the home. 

As Kakashi marvelled at the beautiful tree and how there were lights twinkling in the leaves above, Iruka followed Naruto to the front door where small heads were watching them.

A voice gasped from the door, “Naruto! You’re alive!”

“Of course I am!” Naruto laughed as he stuck his head right into the crack of the door. There were squeaks and Naruto head-butted the door open more. “And guess what, I defeated a dragon. How’s that for being alive, Kiba?”

Rubbing their head, a short human with pointed, furry ears frowned at Naruto, “Naruto, you don’t have to lie to impress us. The fact alone that you came back is surprising enough…”

Noticing Iruka, Kakashi, Genma and the armed guards, Kiba immediately prickled and slammed the door shut right on Naruto’s nose. "Oh, heck no. You're working for them now!"

"Kiba!" Naruto tried to plead, yelling through the door about how they weren't here for that. Iruka listened to the arguing for a moment until Lord Shiranui stepped in to clear up the situation. He noticed the lack of Kakashi in the space behind him and looked to find the cyclops sitting on a root a ways away, kicking the dirt and not listening at all to what was going on.

Hesitantly, Iruka came over to sit next to him but Kakashi kept his eyes on the forest around them and the glimmers in the trees.

“I don’t remember this,” Kakashi hollowly said and Iruka’s hope sank as his worry spiked.

“None of it?” He asked to be sure and Kakashi didn’t bother to answer, silence speaking volumes of confusion and uneasiness. Trying to look on the bright side, Iruka suggested, “Maybe the forest has that kind of effect. Maybe you’ve been here so long that the magic is affecting your mind.”

Kakashi snapped his head around to look at Iruka in utter horror. “Do you think it’s making me forget things? Will this happen to all my memories?”

“I hope not,” Iruka tried to say but Kakashi was already spiralling into more worry.

“Do you think I’m going to forget you?” He muttered as he curled in on himself and Iruka flailed to try and soothe him.

“You might not! This could be just a temporary thing. Maybe you hit your head or something…” Iruka tried to comfort. Still, Kakashi wasn’t really listening as he drifted back into his thoughts with a horrified expression. To try and bring him back to reality, Iruka grabbed his sleeve and said slowly when Kakashi finally looked at him, “We can get your memories back. There has to be like a spell or something that we can get a wizard to do.”

“It’s not…” Kakashi struggled to say, his shoulders falling slowly. “I’m worried about the future. What if I forget about Naruto… About you?”

It was about forgetting his new friends and the things they’d been through, Iruka realized. Maybe Kakashi didn’t want to lose the memories of meeting Iruka. As much as Kakashi’s worry made Iruka’s heart burn, he felt that worry too. What if Kakashi forgot more? Like that he’d broken Iruka’s curse. 

Resolve renewed, Iruka promised Kakashi, “I won’t let you forget. If you do, I’ll help you find them.”

Seeing how Kakashi looked at him with hesitation that slowly melted away into trust, Iruka felt the feelings that had been starting to form since they’d first met grow even brighter in his chest. Especially when Kakashi said back, “Okay.”

Despite the ruckus growing in the background, Iruka kept smiling at his giant, dear friend in an intimate moment where Iruka hoped Kakashi could feel what he did. 

“I don’t believe you! What’s a paper to stop you from kicking us out of our homes again!” Kiba yelled.

With a hard groan, Genma pinched his nose as he tried to say as kindly as possible, “You have my word as a Lord and my handwriting. This paper says that any land within the Enchanted Forest is under my protection. It is yours to live in and do as you please. If another Lord or even a Duke tries to come and take it, this paper basically states that they can’t claim it.”

“So, you’re saying you own it?” Another one of the miniature creatures asked, adjusting his dark lenses. 

“That’s not- Well, kind of. I don’t intend to ever use this land though and this paper states I never will,” Genma was trying to say as the other two chuckled from a distance. 

“Now, what to do about him?” Iruka asked and Kakashi looked up at the great tree he had apparently once called home.

Filled with other creatures, Kakashi couldn’t see himself living in it anymore. He couldn’t see Iruka living there either and having Iruka live with him was a necessity. A room with a view would be nice too. 

“He can figure himself out,” Kakashi said as he motioned back to the road. “Besides, getting out of this forest could help knock something into place.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Iruka grinned.

* * *

Sasuke blinked up at the King and His Majesty stared right back.

Shifting in his chair, the King averted his gaze from Sasuke’s uncomfortable gaze and awkwardly said, “Well, thank you.”

There was a long pause. Sasuke frowned some more.

“My last request from you then,” the King started, glancing around the throne room at the family portraits and humming for a moment. Then he brightened as if suddenly catching an idea. “Send for the Princess. Bring her here at all costs and you’ll be free from your duties, Dragon.”

The King gave a tight smile before suddenly walking out, leaving Sasuke with his confused frown and a new mission. Well, at least he had something to do now.

* * *

Life on the road was much more fun than Kakashi had expected. Once they were out of the forest, they headed along the main road away from Whiteward Castle. Through the Common Wood and over rivers, they found themselves in small towns weeks later. They were mostly the same with little shops and inns but they eventually came across one that caught their eye. 

A local festival was in full swing in celebration of a holiday of some sort. There were garlands of flowers hung from every corner and there was live music playing from the town square. Although, Kakashi had to ignore the piercing stares the villagers were giving him that were filled with confusion and apprehension. They made Kakashi wholly uneasy and uncomfortable in his own skin, more than usual.

With Naruto helming their food choices, as usual, they strolled about the village sampling wares and Kakashi had to ask, “Say, Iruka? How is it that you have so much gold on you?”

“Hm?” Iruka blinked up at him and shrugged. “Mother and father left me a bit before locking me away.”

“Wow, they gave you an allowance and then shipped you off, huh?” 

Iruka shouldered him playfully. “Better than Princess Away Camp.”

As much as Iruka’s tone was playful, Kakashi frowned. “Away camp?”

“Yeah, it’s like summer camp but it’s just a lot of princesses talking about makeup and boys. Sometimes politics.” Iruka realized then that Kakashi had the most confused look on his face and had to explain what a summer camp was. Afterwards, Kakashi was still frowning but this time it was the same frown Iruka had seen on the faces of common folk so he felt better. 

“How much do you have left?” Kakashi asked curiously.

“Good question.”

And that was when they learned Iruka had exactly three gold left to his name. 

Staring into Iruka’s bare purse, Kakashi almost expected a fly to buzz out of it. Despite Iruka’s sallow look, he tried to look on the bright side. “Hey, that’s a night at an inn and good food.”

“Yeah,” Iruka weakly replied.

As it turned out, the Prince was not great at keeping track of his money. In fact, he gave the last three gold to Kakashi because he trusted Kakashi more with it. A touching gesture that Kakashi returned with a flick to Iruka’s sad nose. The way Iruka blushed and shyly smiled had his stomach in knots but that feeling was quickly banished when he saw the crowds of common folk staring at them, some with confusion but most with disgust. 

With the reminder that he was a cyclops and Iruka a human, they tried to enjoy their day. Naruto was unbothered by the whole thing and Iruka seemed to shrug everything off almost as quickly. Kakashi though had a hard time letting go of the unease. As much as he wanted to revel in the feelings he felt for the man next to him, it was hard to not dwell on the disconnect. 

That night, he and Iruka stayed up in their small rented room and tried to talk about the future. Iruka grinned. “Can you imagine me as a farmer?”

Chin on his hand Kakashi pretended to ponder. “Maybe. If you lost the cape and learned how to farm, that is.”

“Hey, I can garden just fine.” Iruka chuckled but quickly got quiet and his cheeks flared in thought. “We could build a home. Live off the land and sell our goods in town.”

Kakashi could picture that so easily, a home they shared and made their own. Still, the cyclops had to pause at that dream. It sounded lovely. It really did but he was hesitant. Looking over the fields and forests beyond, he couldn’t tell what was holding him back except the urge to be out there, wandering. Maybe even exploring.

“That sounds lovely,” Kakashi finally said and he meant it. Perhaps only because that image had Iruka in it. He just didn’t know how to articulate his other feelings. 

With Iruka, he didn’t have to hesitate for long. “But.”

Kakashi found that Iruka was smiling, encouraging him to speak. So, Kakashi admitted, “I just… I kind of want to be out there for a while. Exploring. Visiting places and people. I kind of liked having a quest.”

Instead of being disappointed, Iruka chuckled. “You did seem to have fun rescuing me and trying to get me to marry a man I didn’t know.”

“Hey, normally princesses are supposed to want to be saved.”

“Yeah, by the man who wants to marry them,” Iruka shot back and they stifled their laughter when Naruto groaned in his sleep. “Besides, it wasn’t like I hadn’t already found…”

Iruka’s words trailed off when he realized that he was about to admit that he’d already found his true love when he’d met Lord Genma and quickly stopped himself. Kakashi seemed to not know what Iruka had been leading too so the Prince happily changed the topic. “Anyway! If you’re going to accept quests, maybe don’t do ones that involve dragons next time.”

After their chuckles had subsided, Kakashi blinked. Puzzled by the odd comment, he asked, “Next time?”

Kakashi watched as Iruka’s smile slowly faded. His brows furrowed in worry and Kakashi was suddenly worried he’d said something wrong. 

“Do you… Not remember the dragon?” Iruka asked carefully. 

Kakashi didn’t need to say anything, his drained face and realization said everything Iruka needed to know. 

“You can’t, can you?” Iruka couldn’t wait for a response, he was already turning away and trying to think but his thoughts were just a mess of panic.

“Iruka…” Seeing Iruka so worried and horrified for him, the cyclops tried to stand but immediately smacked his head on the low ceiling. “Sh-”

Cradling his bruised head, Kakashi couldn’t help but mutter, “I’m sorry.”

“Kakashi.” Iruka had stood, helping the cyclops to sit back down so they could come back to calm together. With Kakashi hunched over and Iruka’s hands on his shoulders, they took a moment to let the worry sink in. 

Feeling a hand pull his tunic to the side, Kakashi couldn’t bask in the feeling of Iruka’s hands on him because he found raw skin at points around his shoulder. It looked as though something had pierced his skin over and over. Like teeth he couldn’t remember being bit by.

For a moment, they were quiet in the knowledge that Kakashi’s memory wasn’t getting any better. They were nowhere near the Enchanted Forest. They had been far from it for over a week and a half and still, he was losing his memories. This was something deeper, not just an effect. 

Iruka knew from experience that this was magic, powerful magic at that. Even though he didn’t want to admit it, they needed help. He even knew who could but that would mean facing people and places he hadn’t for years. It meant going to the most judgemental place in the kingdom and Iruka didn’t want to expose Kakashi to it. He’d seen the stares people had thrown Kakashi’s way in every town they’d passed through so far. 

Maybe there was a way of getting there without being noticed.

With renewed confidence, he smoothed Kakashi’s shoulders and declared, “We’ll figure this out. Together.” 

As their eyes locked, Kakashi could see Iruka’s resolve and it steadied him. 

What unsteadied them both was how long their gaze was held and how Iruka was touching Kakashi so tenderly. Maybe they would have kissed if they hadn’t been so nervous. Their faces were completely red by the time Iruka nervously laughed and backed away. Kakashi pretending to cough.

* * *

“So, what was this guy’s name again?” Naruto asked for the fifth time. 

“Orochimaru.” 

“‘Rochimamu.”

“Orochimaru,” Iruka repeated without hesitation, hopping over a fallen tree. Kakashi stepped over it easily with Naruto on his shoulder. “He’s a wizard… Or sorcerer. I really can’t tell the difference.”

“Did he learn his powers or was he born with them?” Kakashi asked automatically. 

Iruka shrugged and kept on going, “All I know is he’s been under a royal contract for years now. He supplies them with spells and he gets to sell his potions and magic stuff in town.”

“That sounds like a bargain,” Naruto awed as they trekked through the forests, heading for the hut Iruka had described. 

Kakashi noted very quickly that his Prince had forgotten to mention how close it was to town and how the ‘town’ was less of a ‘town’ and more like a city bustling with people. 

“What’s this place called again?” Kakashi whispered as he spied giant, white walls through the trees.

“Oceanside.” Iruka kept on walking even though Kakashi had frozen stiff. Even he remembered Oceanside, the city that represented the entire kingdom in being the most densely populated with humans.

“Oh,” Naruto gasped as he jumped down from Kakashi’s unmoving shoulder to jump at Iruka’s feet. “I heard of this great ramen place! Can we go?”

“Naruto, we should really avoid… Ichiraku?” Iruka and Naruto suddenly lit up and the Prince was sparkling as he said, “I used to go there all the time! Teuchi’s ramen can cure literally anything!”

“We have to go then!!” Naruto started to dance but Iruka wrangled them back up.

“After we fix Kakashi,” Iruka proclaimed but the giant behind them was not in the same boat at all. In fact, he wanted to turn around and run but Iruka’s grin was the only thing keeping him there. That and the promise that he would stop losing his memories.

What else had he lost?

Before he could run or ponder, the other two were already walking away and Kakashi had to keep going.

They didn’t get far though.

As Naruto and Iruka were talking about food, they suddenly stopped talking and walking. 

Looking over their heads, Kakashi found that the reason why was a young man, still a boy, was blocking their path. His dark hair and pale face really felt out of place in the lush forest surrounding them and Kakashi knew immediately that this was not going to end well.

“Prince Iruka Umino,” The boy called with a dead stare.

The Prince had his hackles up too and Kakashi got ready to fight or run. “Iruka?”

“What?” Iruka simply called to the newcomer, nervously glancing back at Kakashi with a hand out as if to tell him to wait.

“I come on behalf of His Majesty. He requests you come home now that your curse has been broken. Strongly.”

Well, he got to the point quickly. Iruka pursed his lips and nodded. “Okay.”

“Iruka,” Kakashi hissed, really not wanting to suddenly meet new people, let alone the King. 

“Kakashi. I’m sorry. We don’t have a choice,” Iruka whispered despite Naruto’s growls and prickled fur. “Remember that dragon I mentioned?”

* * *

Genma flipped through another page and scowled at the stories on his work table. For some reason, the idea of a cyclops in the Enchanted Forest sounded familiar. Maybe he’d heard about Kakashi from the expeditions he’d sent his men on when they were first surveying the Forest. 

Still, he couldn’t put a finger on why the Prince’s boyfriend felt more familiar than a mention. 

Being the curious Lord he was, Genma felt bothered so much that he had sent out for all the books about cyclops and the Enchanted Forest he could find. So far, all these books held no new information and his research was growing thin.

There was no information at all about a cyclops living there and only barely enough of a monster guide to be considered helpful. Really, how was knowing a cyclops blood type helpful? Or if they could see in the dark or not? Or their heigh…

Genma almost dropped the book in his hands and had to read over the passage twice.

_ ‘Cyclops, unexpectedly, stand taller than giants. Their stature sits at an average of fifteen cows tall and three cows wide. The tallest known cyclops was a red-skinned male named Scott-” _

He hurried to his windows and looked out across the main courtyard of his home to the grand doors in which Genma had first met the cyclops.

If his math was correct (and it usually was), the door couldn’t have been more than four cows tall. 

“Sir!” Gai, Genma’s Captain of the guard, then rushed into the room and hurried out, “My Lord! Word has come that The Great Snake has fired his assistant!”

“Gai!” Genma rushed out instantly, “How tall is a cow!?”

They both then stared at each other, panting and waiting for the other’s response.

Then their words finally set in and they both asked at the same time, “What?”


	2. For His Memory Was Weak

Kakashi didn’t expect in a million years to be escorted to a castle by a human boy who had once been a dragon. Apparently, he had fought this dragon. Apparently, he had conquered this dragon. Still, he was more scared of the doom they were about to face. 

Was Iruka his boyfriend? 

If yes, he was about to face his in-laws or potential in-laws, also known as the King and Queen. In all his cyclops life (that he remembered), he hadn’t ever dreamed of meeting people so high up and that scared him more than the dragon did since they were Iruka’s parents and therefore were people he had to impress.

Thankfully, he wasn’t the only one who was nervous. The whole walk, Iruka’s shoulders were up at his ears and his lips were nonexistent with how hard he was biting them. Oh, the confidence it gave Kakashi.

He quickly realized as they stepped through the golden gates of the city that Oceanside itself was a hurdle he had to face. As soon as they stepped through, people stopped everything they were doing to stare. It seemed like every human in the entire city was suddenly aware of their arrival and were putting two and two together. 

One: Prince Iruka’s curse had been broken and this was his true form.

Two: The curse had been broken by the cyclops standing next to him. 

Or the fox.

Which was much less likely.

“Well,” Kakashi wobbled out, feeling the analyzing gaze of the humans that were starting to line the streets.

“This is okay,” Iruka said under his breath. “This is fine.”

“Okay,” Kakashi could only answer back, feeling more and more out of place than he had in any other village or town they’d visited. He couldn’t help but hate that they were looking at him in half disgust and half fear. They saw a monster with their prince and Kakashi just wanted to curl away and hide.

The reason he was even there became clear though when Iruka took his hand in his tiny one and kissed it. With a bright, charming smile, he looked back at Kakashi and said loud enough for the whole town to hear, “Ready to meet the in-laws?”

With that, Kakashi’s face burned and he nodded faintly. The crowds broke out into squeals and gasps that Iruka literally waved off as he nodded to the common folk they passed. Kakashi then started to see the people in the crowd who were in awe, waving eagerly at the both of them and trying to pet Naruto who was prancing off towards the castle they were headed for. 

At the ornate, sparkling gates that opened for them, a guard in a crimson, royal uniform bowed immediately to them. 

“My Prince, welcome home,” The guard said with a wave to the castle, glancing up at Kakashi with a suspicious glare. 

“Wow, great to see you, Captain Yamato,” Iruka greeted with a pat to the young-looking Captain’s shoulder as though they were old friends. They probably were, Kakashi thought enviously for a moment. Then Iruka said, “This is Kakashi… He’s-”

“Oh, I’ve heard so much about you,” Captain Yamato exclaimed all too politely and bowed to Kakashi as well. “Captain Yamato at your service, Kakashi.”

“So, they’re in the throne room?” Iruka asked.

“As usual. They’ve kept a lot to themselves once they heard the curse had been broken.” Captain Yamato escorted them through the main gardens that led to the castle doors. While Iruka winced, Kakashi noted how friendly they both were with each other. Captain Yamato would touch Iruka’s shoulder in passing or would touch the little of Iruka’s back as they ascended the main stairs.

Kakashi was both extremely jealous and annoyed that he couldn’t do anything about it. Maybe if he was human too he could make all those subtly flirtatious moves but he wasn’t. He was an awkward, gangly cyclops who just so happened to be Iruka’s first kiss, to be the one to break Iruka’s curse. He kind of felt guilty. 

“Hey,” Iruka whispered to him as they headed through the main doors of the castle and the brilliant, red hall. With a bright smile, Iruka assured, “They’re going to love you.”

While Iruka’s hope and firm confidence in them were touching, Kakashi couldn’t help but feel that he was holding Iruka back.

At a set of pearlescent doors, the guards in polished armour stepped aside with ease and they entered into the throne room of golds and reds. 

Across a gilded carpet, two chairs made of carved marble were lined with crimson cushions and gold trimmings. Upon the throne to the left, an older woman in a flowing, green gown with a golden circlet was eagerly waiting. She was holding back a vibrant smile that shone in every elegant wrinkle and in the smile lines in the corners of her eyes. The Queen very much looked like her son and Kakashi could tell that she was just as bright. 

The King on the other hand… Well, he wasn’t happy at all. In fact, he was staring straight at Kakashi as though the cyclops had done much worse than just a little kiss. In fact, Kakashi was starting to feel like he’d committed murder instead.

“Mother, Father,” Iruka started as he bowed before them, his mother brightening even more and his father darkening even more. “My curse is broken and this is the man who broke it.”

At the declaration, the room went quiet with two very different emotions being held back until Iruka finally introduced the tense cyclops, “This is Kakashi.”

Before another long silence could fill the room, Naruto peaked out from behind Kakashi’s leg. “And I’m Naruto!”

The Queen immediately and eagerly started clapping. The King’s face remained calmly furious.

Finally, mother and son rushed to hug each other and she cupped his face, cooing, “My sweet baby, you’re so grown up. And look how handsome you are. I can’t believe it’s been five years. It felt like an eternity.”

While half the room was loving and caring, Kakashi was left to fend for himself as piercing eyes stared him down. 

“Honey!” The Queen snapped and His Majesty finally looked away to grumble and join the family reunion. 

Instead of staying though, he patted Iruka’s head once and left the room.

While Kakashi was relieved, his Prince was not. Confused, Iruka watched him go but his mother started fussing with his hair.

“My sweet boy,” She cooed as she hugged him close and Iruka returned the hug hesitantly this time. “We have to sit down and talk about everything you’ve been up to and…”

The Queen looked over at Kakashi, her gaze so much more inviting than her husband’s. “I must hear all about how you met Sir Kakashi.”

“Ah,” Kakashi stuttered. “I’m not a knight, Your Highness.”

She didn’t agree with his words but instead scanned him up and down keenly before ushering Iruka down through a corridor.

* * *

“We still have two more days until we reach Oceanside, My Lord,” Gai said as he read and tried to motion to the map in hand but Genma was too busy frowning over books.

He was caught between two problems: a cyclops who wasn’t the usual run-of-the-mill cyclops and a rogue wizard’s assistant. Well, not that cyclops were particularly run-of-the-mill, to begin with. 

A wizard’s assistant was much more concerning though. What was more dangerous than someone who was taught in the art of magic but had been fired? Was it because of a lack of work ethic? Or was it worse: poor execution?

Especially in the line of magic, you couldn’t afford to be bad at your job. There was no telling what could happen if a spell was done wrong or if their powers were used for evil. 

“My Lord, I’ve been thinking about this through our travels,” Gai started, digging his sword into the ground as his thick brows furrowed. “What if the men we’re heading towards are the same person?”

Standing with that realization, Genma thought aloud, “It could be a spell.”

“A spell gone wrong,” Gai agreed vigorously.

“And Kakashi popped up about a month ago, right?”

Gai nodded and his Lord’s mind started turning. That could be it, especially someone experimenting with magic. Lord Shiranui looked at their gear, their horses and finally at Gai. “If Kakashi really is Kabuto, then his and the Prince’s marriage could put him on the throne.”

Sheathing his sword in one fluid motion, Captain Gai knelt before his liege and proclaimed, “My Lord, I say we continue our ride. Ride into the night so we may reach Oceanside by tomorrow.”

Nodding with the same determination, Genma reached out his hand to his faithful knight. The offer taken, they saddled up and continued on their ride towards the Capital.

Towards their fate.

* * *

Surrounded by furniture that almost didn’t fit him, Kakashi sat between the Queen and Prince as they talked and talked about things he didn’t really understand. 

Politics was too messy for him at that moment and he couldn’t really keep track of who was who. His mind was just a whirlwind of thoughts and he finally worked up the nerve to excuse himself. “Ah, thank you so much for your hospitality, Your Majesty, but I think I’ll rest before dinner.”

“Oh, of course. You’ve had a long trip.” The Queen waved to a servant and gracefully asked, “Please, see Sir Kakashi to their room for the night.”

Kakashi noted how she called him ‘Sir’ again but didn’t have the energy to correct her. Instead, he followed the servant out of the study to his room, leaving Iruka to watch him go longingly.

With a knowing eye, the Queen noted, “He’s a sweet one.”

“Very,” Iruka wistfully said, his eyes still trained on the door but his mother had questions for him.

“True love’s first kiss.” She revelled in her son’s embarrassed flush but happy smile. It pleased her so to see her son happy and himself and she couldn’t be prouder. That twinkle in his eye reminded her of a younger version of herself, full of confidence and adoration. “I missed you so much, Iruka.”

He turned to her, that twinkle turning into a different kind of love and he hurried to stand and hug her. “I missed you, Mom.” 

After a tender moment, the Queen grinned. “So, when’s the wedding?”

Sputtering and blushing, Iruka pulled away and waved her off. “Hey, I’ve got a lot more things on my mind than weddings here.”

“Oh? Like what?” The Queen taunted.

“Like… I have a kid to take care of. Not to mention the whole cyclops thing.” Then things grew serious, Iruka’s frown deepening as he asked, “Hey, have you ever heard of someone losing their memories more and more with every day?”

“Well,” The Queen hesitated. “That is a common symptom with head injuries… Old age… Why do you ask, darling?”

“Well… Kakashi’s been forgetting things slowly,” Iruka tried to explain. “He forgot his own home. He even forgot the dragon.”

“Well, Sasuke can be quiet,” The Queen offered. Iruka just shot her a look and she hummed, looking at the space Kakashi had been sitting. “But with matters of memory loss… I would be quite concerned.”

“Exactly… What if it’s just part of being a cyclops? What if… He forgets me?” Iruka muttered but his mother simply shrugged.

“Well, you’ll just have to love him all the same.” If she hadn’t said it in such a sad way, Iruka would have blushed but he noticed how his mother seemed a million miles away.

Thinking about their reunion, he asked, “Mom, what’s been going on with Dad?”

She pursed her lips and looked away. She didn’t speak at first but when she did it was full of emotions that were being forced down. “Your father is… I think he wants a divorce.”

* * *

"What do you think happens if a King and a Queen get divorced?" Iruka casually asked Kakashi and Naruto as they prepared for bed. Kakashi sputtered, Naruto yelled in confusion and Iruka shushed them both.

“Are they really getting a divorce?” Naruto hissed, trying to be quiet even though his voice was still projecting. “Is your mom okay? How will they split things? Does that include Oceanside? Will it be 50/50? Or, like, 25/75 if she gets the dog?”

Maybe telling the whole room hadn’t been such a good idea. While Naruto asked and asked, Kakashi simply looked at him and reached a comforting hand across the distance between them. Moved by the littles display of affection, Iruka squeezed his hand and pulled a smile as he told Naruto, “Oh, I was just thinking hypothetically, you know?”

“Oh,” Naruto muttered, disappointed that there wasn’t anything to gossip about. “Well, I think they would get 50/50. Unless the Queen wouldn’t want half. Then she’d get the castle and he would have the rest of Oceanside.”

As they let Naruto talk himself to sleep, Iruka seemed a million miles away. 

The room was quite silent as the fire roared and Naruto’s snores roared with it and Kakashi wondered what Iruka was thinking. Too big for both of them to sit on the couch, Kakashi set again to wandering the room like he had before Iruka arrived. 

It had all the trimmings of a wealthy child’s room. In the corner, a dressform held up a silky green children’s dress that was partially finished from the pins sticking out of it. In another, there was a tall vase filled with wooden swords and umbrellas. The walls were a faint blue and but there were stars cut out and taped to the walls and ceiling, cut by tiny hands. 

The best part was the books upon books of fairy tales and stories all lined up on shelves that stretched across the fireplace. There were some about princesses and knights, royalty and politics. Almost all of them were titles Kakashi had never heard of. The Princess and the Frog. The Dread Pirate Robbers. The White Knight’s Despair. That one did sound familiar though.

As Kakashi was about to reach for the familiar last one, he heard a shuffling and found that Iruka was gone, the open balcony doors fluttering the gossamer curtains.

The White Knight’s Despair in hand, Kakashi stepped towards the balcony and found his Prince sitting on the edge rail with slumped shoulders. Forgoing the book on the couch, the cyclops bent through the balcony doors to join him. Leaning against the stone rail next to Iruka, Kakashi simply stayed there with him until Iruka felt brave enough to speak.

“Mother says he’s depressed,” He whispered. “That he hasn’t been himself for a while and it scares her. She still loves him but it feels like he’s drifting away.”

Kakashi shuffled in closer and Iruka easily leaned into his shoulder.

“He used to be so happy and funny and…” Iruka swallowed against a knot in his throat and Kakashi leaned a cheek against his head to try and help and it did. With a deep breath, Iruka said, “He’s still here though and he hasn’t left yet so… That has to mean something, right?”

“It does,” Kakashi muttered, a thought popping into his mind. “Maybe he regrets locking you away. Maybe he doesn’t like that you came back all grown up.”

“I didn’t think about that,” Iruka huffed before breaking out into a grin. “Maybe he’s just upset to see you.”

“No, he  _ is _ upset to see me,” Kakashi corrected and while Iruka laughed, Kakashi could only think of that man’s hateful eyes. “He hates me. Truly hates me.”

“Hey, it’s not every day your gay son brings home their boyfriend.” 

“Yeah, cyclops boyfriend,” Kakashi pointed out and they went quiet as their thoughts aligned. Before Kakashi could think too deeply about it, Iruka turned himself on the rail to face Kakashi.

“My boyfriend,” Iruka reiterated with conviction and Kakashi realized that they were both saying that word. 

Boyfriend. It had slipped out so easily and Iruka was looking at him like there wasn’t anyone else in the world, like nothing else mattered. It reassured him that he wasn’t alone and that even though he didn’t feel right, things would be okay. He felt seen, truly seen for himself no matter who he was on the outside and it made his heart swell so high it felt like it was in his shoulders and arms.

His fingers were numb as he touched Iruka’s cheek and pressed their lips together. This time, Iruka leaned into his touch and suddenly they were connected under the starry sky. As waves crashed on the cliffs below, their kiss felt as though they were standing on its edges, teetering between hesitation and passion. 

When Kakashi pulled away, they were both flushed and nervous. Awkwardly, they giggled and Iruka jumped down but before things could feel more nerve-wracking, Iruka spun and nodded his head to the door.

“Come on, let’s get back to where it’s warm,” He laughed and Kakashi followed, face still burning. 

Inside, Iruka patted the bed and Kakashi sat, his heart still racing. Pulling another blanket from the couch, Iruka brought over the book Kakashi had picked up and suggested, “How about I read to you this time?”

“Sure,” Kakashi said, his voice cracking. 

Hopping into the bed, Iruka got comfortable and Kakashi tried to do the same but it was hard when the bed was only barely big enough for the both of them and Iruka being so close. It didn’t help that Iruka said, “It’s the same one you have but less poetry-ish.”

“Huh?” Kakashi asked, trying to digest everything in that sentence. 

Iruka then reached over into Kakashi’s pocket and pulled out a tiny book. Flipping to a page, Iruka pointed at a few paragraphs titled The White Knight’s Despair and Kakashi blinked. “Remember? We started this one on the way to…”

Iruka didn’t have to finish his sentence because he and Kakashi both clued in. It was pushing in again. The fog had taken that memory. Maybe that was why he remembered the title…

Wasting no time, Iruka pulled him close and gave him a smile. "Well, guess that means I get to read to you this time. This one's longer anyway."

But as Iruka read, Kakashi could only worry and worry. He needed to see that wizard. He needed to find them soon too because now he could remember the moment he'd met Iruka or any of their first week together. What if… He forgot the moment he'd broken Iruka's curse?

"The Dark One was dead but soon did the White Knight. Succumbing to his wounds, the knight dashed in white did die but not before bequeathing his royal vow to his son. Kakashi?" Iruka asked and he finally snapped out of it to find Iruka's worried brow looking up at him.

"Sorry, just a bit tired," Kakashi lied and as he pulled the covers up, he lost himself in thought as he watched Iruka ready himself for bed.

The thoughts of worry slowly dissipated again when he realized how easily the Prince's clothes fell off. Thankfully for Naruto’s sake, Iruka climbed into bed with his tunic and shorts and Kakashi ended up with a back pressed against his side and his head filled with horrible thoughts.

It eased his worried mind and the stress and anxiety of the day released their hold on Kakashi enough for him to drop into sleep.

* * *

The next morning, Iruka woke up by dropping out of bed with a yelp.

After Kakashi apologized profusely for accidentally taking up so much space and Naruto prodding Iruka's face for bruised, they were invited for breakfast with the King and Queen.

They walked into the dining room minutes later to find a long table with the Queen at one end and the King at the other, separated by piles of food.

"I'm in heaven," Naruto drooled before hurrying over to take the closest seat he could find.

"Wow, this looks amazing." Iruka had the same ravenous face as he sat next to Naruto and his mother chuckled.

"Of course. After hearing that you'd travelled so much, Choja insisted on preparing you everything he could think of." The Queen was saying and Iruka was listening and talking back but Kakashi was on high alert.

Because the King was staring him down every moment and making very pointed comments.

“Ah, sorry the utensils aren’t any bigger,” The Queen quickly said when she noticed Kakashi struggling with the tiny fork in his long fingers.

“Oh, they’re perfectly fine,” Kakashi said back since it wasn’t that big of a deal at all. He’d had no problems with these sizes before but he was quickly cut off by the man at the end of the table.

“Apparently, the blacksmith doesn’t make them that big.” 

Kakashi almost dropped his spoon, hoping that it had been a joke but seeing that the brow under that golden crown was still furrowed.

While the Queen asked about their travels, Kakashi felt eyes burning into his shoulder and wished that Iruka had let him sit next to the queen. She seemed so much nicer.

She also didn’t want to kill Kakashi so that would’ve been a lot better than the deadly intent coming from the other side of the table. Oh, did he want to run away and hide.

“That sounds amazing, Iruka. Did you happen to see any dwarves on your journeys? I was hoping to speak to some about the foundations of the castle. For some renovations.” 

“Ah, Mom, not all dwarves are good with masonry.” Iruka winced while Kakashi tried to pretend he was somewhere else.

“Oh, I didn’t mean it like… Well, did you happen to find any masons along your travels then? Preferably of dwarven descent,” The Queen tried to correct and while Iruka tried to tell her how it sounded.

Meanwhile, the King muttered, “Or did you find more giants?”

Kakashi gritted his teeth, starting to feel more annoyed than fearful now.

“We met a lot of people,” Naruto poked in, trying to diffuse the whole air around them. “We met humans and elves and halflings. Not many dwarves but I think we met a mason. He had a beautiful shop and his swords were so pretty.”

“What?” Iruka asked.

“You know, the guy with all the maces. His swords were so much better though.” 

“Naruto, that was a blacksmith.”

“Or a blacksmith,” The Queen helped with a smile. “By the way, Kakashi, what do you do for a living?”

“Ah,” Kakashi hesitated but Iruka had his back.

“Kakashi actually has been taking on quests,” Iruka proudly declared even though it wasn’t completely true.

With a gasp, the Queen’s eyes shone. “Really? Are you thinking of becoming a knight?”

“Impossible,” came from across the table and Her Highness tutted her husband.

“Darling, anyone can be a knight.”

“Not someone so old,” The King shot back so easily, eyeing Kakashi’s hair but Kakashi couldn’t retort because he didn’t really know how old he was. He definitely wasn’t of age to become a squire, much less a page.

“He’s already completed a final quest,” Iruka quickly replied with an angry quirk to his brow. “Like any of your knights could even defeat an ogre.”

“My knights have defeated many ogres.” By the way Iruka huffed, it seemed like that was a lie.

“How about a dragon?” Iruka yelled, rage building higher in a way that made Kakashi flinch.

“They’ve been trained for any threat!” The King yelled back.

“But they haven’t faced any! Kakashi defeated it without breaking a sweat.”

“I bet he did with his giant arms and legs. He probably crushed it just by laying on it!”

“Ikkaku!” The Queen tried to cut in but Iruka was on a furious roll.

“Better than any human, that’s for sure!”

“Never as good as my knights!”

“Like they could ever save a princess!”

“And what a princess  _ he  _ saved!” The King called and Kakashi suddenly shot up out of his chair. He was angry and frustrated and annoyed for himself but insulting Iruka was the last straw. 

There wasn’t anything he could say or do though. This was the King. Iruka’s father, someone Kakashi was trying to get their approval from. But he obviously didn’t want that. He especially didn’t like Kakashi.

“Sir,” Kakashi started, pulling in his breath to say something sharp but… He was in front of a King. “I’m sorry for ruining your breakfast.”

And he left. 

Iruka was left with a hurt, surprised face while Naruto from the table called, “Kakashi! Wait!”

The fox scurried out of the room and Iruka was about to follow, stepping away from the table when his father called, “Iruka. Sit.”

He had never heard his father speak like he had tonight and he was hurt from all ends. So, he hesitated and the guards shut the doors one again, forcing Iruka to turn back to the table. The King motioned back to his seat and ordered darkly, “Sit.”

* * *

Out on the castle steps, Kakashi found himself sitting and watching the men in leather train out in the courtyard to the side. Now, there were so many things running through his mind about what he could have said back to the King. Instead, he was sitting on the steps as he watched the brave knights train with such ease.

Through instinct and memory, they fought each other with wooden practise swords and Kakashi had to admit he was jealous. So easily and fluidly, they moved with their normal, human-sized limbs and Kakashi couldn’t help but wish he could be like that. 

He wasn’t even jealous of their skills. He realized that he was simply jealous that they were human and that surprised him. That was a feeling he hadn’t ever felt before and suddenly he couldn’t think of anything else.

Even as Naruto plopped down next to him, he couldn’t look away.

“That went great,” Naruto said sarcastically and Kakashi didn’t acknowledge him. So, naruto tried to say helpfully, “Well, at least you know now that he doesn’t like you. That way, you don’t have to go years and years without knowing until your in way too deep and then you have to get a divorce because your father-in-law sucks.”

Kakashi frowned deeper. “How… Naruto, have you seen that happen?”

“Lots of times,” Naruto said simply with the most casual shrug but quickly moved on. “Moral of the story is that you should always elope.”

“I don’t think that’s the moral of the story.”

“You don’t? Then you and Iruka plan on getting married here?” Naruto asked innocently.

“W-we haven’t talked about getting married,” Kakashi hesitated, finding that he was still so unsure of everything. 

“What? Really?” Naruto then started to go into a rant about how marriage had great tax benefits but Kakashi had checked out. He was too busy staring at the pair of horsemen riding in through the main gates.

In a whirl of dust and glitter, Lord Genma Shiranui and his trusty Captain Gai came to a stop at the foot of the steps. Swinging off their horses, Genma and Gai quickly drew their swords at Kakashi and the small mammal next to him.

“Get back, Naruto,” Genma called as Gai stepped forward at the ready. “This man is dangerous.”

“What?” Naruto and Kakashi both echoed.

“Kabuto! Unveil your true self!” Gai called to the wind but the air afterwards was so confused as it rustled by.

“Who?” Kakashi finally asked.

“You. Kabuto.”

“Sorry, I think you have me mistaken for someone else,” Kakashi started but Genma wasn’t convinced.

“I know the truth, Kabuto. You can’t hide any longer.” The knights from the courtyard were starting to wander over, peaking from the bushes.

“I… Lord Shiranui, I’m sorry. I really don't know what you’re talking about.”

“What’s a Kabuto?” Naruto asked.

Swords falling, Genma and his Captain looked to each other. 

“Okay,” Genma said, sheathing his sword again and taking a stance with a foot on the first step. “So, The Great Snake is a wizard who’s lived for many, many years and he had an assistant for the last ten and…”

Words drifting off, they all listened as a man in clanking armour came running up to them from the gate. Huffing and puffing, Captain Yamato doubled over as he gasped to Genma, “My Lord… The King… and Queen... aren’t... seeing any visit… ors. God, I’m out of shape.”

“Ah, sorry, Captain Yamato. I’m on urgent business and as Lord of the East I have priority,” Genma simply said as Gai continued in his stead.

“For the last ten years, the wizard has had an apprentice by the name of Kabuto. And we…” Gai stuck the tip of his sword into the ground and pointed at Kakashi. “Know you’re him.”

“Me?” Kakashi asked incredulously.

“Exactly.”

Genma stepped back in. “What Gai means to say is that we know you’re actually Kabuto under the effects of a spell. You might have accidentally toyed with powers you have no control over and now you’re stuck in that body.”

“What?” Naruto squawked again. “What makes you think Kakashi’s a Kabuto?”

“For one, Kabuto was fired about a month ago. Two, Kakashi’s hair is the same colour. And the most damning evidence of all…” Genma paused dramatically. “You’re two cows tall.”

Kakashi quirked a brow. “I’m actually two and a quarter.” 

“Do you know how tall a cyclops is?” Genma asked in return and when he got no response he answered, “An average of fifteen.”

The news didn’t seem to hit Kakashi until he realized how tall fifteen cows was. That was tall. Really tall. Five times taller than Kakashi was and he was pretty tall. He wasn’t fifteen feet tall though. Which made no sense at all.

“My theory is that you, Kabuto, accidentally tried to turn yourself into someone else. The spell backfired and now you’re stuck with a faulty body.” Genma slipped his hands into his pocket, satisfied with the surprise on everyone’s faces. Even Captain Yamato hissed and took a few steps back before realizing his knights were watching and shooing them off.

“So, wait… What do we do now then?” Naruto asked, glancing between his shocked tall friend and Lord Noodle. 

“We go see Orochimaru,” Lord Noodle replied easily. “Have him reverse the spell and then we’ll all be back to normal.”

Of course, he left out the part where Orochimaru might curse him for using such powerful magic improperly but Genma wasn’t about to spook anyone off.

Especially not when Kakashi looked so shook.

Because Genma had a point. What if he was Kabuto? What if he didn’t remember any of his life before because he’d cast a spell wrong and it backfired? Even if he wasn’t, at least that would get him to Orochimaru, the wizard who could maybe fix this.

“Hey, Naruto,” Kakashi said as he turned to his tiny friend. “Can you keep an eye on Iruka for me? Let him know where I went?” 

Unsure, Naruto muttered, “I could but… What’s going to happen to you?”

“Well,” Kakashi sighed. “Either I turn into a human man who I’ve never even heard of or I get my memories back.”

Slowly but still unconvinced, Naruto nodded as he glanced between the doors and Kakashi. “Okay… But… What will happen if… You are Kabuto?”

Kakashi swallowed but patted his head affectionately at the tiny fox who looked so nervous at that aspect. So, he promised, “I’ll come back no matter what. I promise and tell Iruka that I will too.”

“Okay,” Naruto said with a hopeful snort and booped Kakashi’s head with his head before trotting inside.

Turning to the other men, Kakashi nodded and Genma looked to Gai who sheathed his sword and led the way back to their horses. “Onward! To the wizard!”

Before Kakashi could follow, Captain Yamato stopped him and warned, “Be careful. That wizard is tricky. Things have been too odd around here to trust anyone.”

Kakashi wanted to ask more questions but the others called to him so he nodded and left Captain Yamato to watch them set off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is def gonna be 4 chapters instead of 3 because... Well, the third chapter is getting too long! And I wanted chapters to be around the same length and even this one is a lot longer :^
> 
> Anyway! Love you all and stay safe!

**Author's Note:**

> Well, howdy doo! Looks like a sequel. Smells like a sequel. Must be a sequel! Who would've thought!  
> Look at us. Who would've thought? Not me.  
> Anyway! Second chap coming in a week, loves <3 Thanks for reading!


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